the amazing adventures of jen14221

bahamas, bitches

I am going to the Bahamas tomorrow, with some of my high school girlies. I will be significantly less cute and thin as some of my friends, but it's okay.  Because - BAHAMAS.

 

weekend weigh-in

This is what I registered for about five minutes:

And then later on I hopped back on the scale and it read 188.  Ha!
 

friday kid photo

What a shitty week.  I mean, really people!  I was in Philadelphia, land of the swine flu and disgrunted non-World Series winners.  Also, the land of the douchebag SEPTA mass-transit workers, who all went on strike and made people like myself walk or cab everywhere.  What a pain in my ass.  Although maybe some of that walking miles and miles and MILES will counteract the inhalation of copious quantities of leftover Halloween fun-sized candybars. 

I am also feeling vaugely flu-ish, kind of run-down and maybe a little depressed.  Thank God I am home today, enjoying a little Yo Gabba Gabba with the boy who WILL NOT EVER TAKE OFF HIS TENNESSEE VOLS T-SHIRT.

celebrity stalking

I watch Parking Wars all the time.  I don't get A&E in my hotel room in Philadelphia, but I TiVo it for when I get home.  I do get a little thrill when I see places in Philly on my TV from the show.  I know, kind of lame.  I do wish they would do this show in Boston and go ticket and tow all the douchey douches from my old hood.

Well, this morning I saw this dude (Garfield - the PPA's booter) at the hospital and totally stalked him.  I hope he does not file a complaint against me.

 
I know I look sort of like ass.  Shut up, it was early.

my little timbit

Not only did Will have a great weekend (Halloween, parties, hockey and his birthday), but last night he also had the opportunity to skate at HSBC arena with the Buffalo Sabres.

 
 

monday kid photo

Six years ago today, I was driven to Brigham & Women's hospital by Peter.  We listened to the "Death to the Pixies" CD on the way.  I knew I was about to have a baby boy via c-section, and I hoped my TiVo would remember to record The Sopranos.

That was then.

  

This is now.

Happy birthday, little boy.

weekend weigh-in

friday kid photo

Will has a busy weekend ahead of him!  Today he has a Halloween Party in class and another in the school gym at 5:30pm.  Here he is in his Phillies baseball player outfit.

Tomorrow is of course Trick-or-Treat day, and on Sunday we are having a little party with my folks for him.

On Monday, he turns six.

Shit.  Six.  SIX!

probably should have stayed home

I was sick all week.  And this was displayed prominently at the entrance of my place of business.

Ooops.
 

just a little gassy

I was cleaning out a drawer in the buffet over the weekend and I found a stack of papers that apparently came home with Will on his last day of Pre-K, items I never saw or put aside to look through later.

Here's a good one:

The colored boxes have been added by me for emphasis.  Apparently, Will loves the Beastie Boys and Peter is not funny at all.

And the funniest thing I do?  Is fart.
 

weekend weigh-in

It was a bad week for stress-related eating.  And drinking.

Thank you for not judging me.
 

friday kid photo

My son is super-cool.  I love him so much.  I had no idea what love or fear was until I had him.  Such a fucking cliche, right?  But it's true.  I have such hopes and fears and wants for him.

And this morning I sat in bed alone and sobbed a little, because last night Will told me that he is sad because he doesn't have anyone to play with and he wants a little brother or sister.

my week

I have had one hell of a week, at times tragic and sometimes hilarious.

I flew to Philadalphia on Monday as usual, waiting for the luggage nazi to accost me and steal my carry-on, like the week prior.  He wasn't there!  Awesome, score one for me.

On Tuesday, I worked 14 hours and then went and got H A M M E R E D at Buddakan.  Lobster crepes and Kobe beef satay and chicken/ginger dumplings and king crab fried rice and a hundred glasses of pinot noir.  My buzz lasted exactly one hour and 15 minutes.  I was a little slow at the office the next day but just needed some bacon and Vitamin water to get back up to speed.

On Wednesday I had hot angry tears welling up in my eyes because I had mutiple things go wrong at the office.  I had it when I can't control things.  Need to work on this.  Minutes later, I read an e-mail that was just so stupid I had to laugh, so things were much better almost immediatley.

Today, I worked and then flew home.  My seat partner introduced himself and told me he was going to the Buffy to meet up with a CELEBRITY.  Of course I was interested, but then he showed me his card and explained he was in business with John Wayne Bobbitt.  Developing an energizing/enhancement formula.  Think PomWonderful, but for your penis.

It's almost too easy to make me happy sometimes.

ha! fooled you

GOT YOU TO COMMENT

I'm a comment whore, can you tell?  The fact that people are still reading makes my cold, dead heart warm a little, and I am thankful.  Thanks!

The fact that work blew big dicks out loud this week makes my heart grow frigid and small again.

Next week should be better.

BY THE WAY

• Have you checked out 80sJen on Twitter?  It's all about Bonne Bell Lip Smackers and Duran Duran.
• Did you know that once again, I loathe USAir?
• I built a wishlist on Amazon so my mom doesn't spaz out on what to buy me for Christmas.  The ice rink kit is for my kid, by the way.

a quickie

I'm sososososo busy.  Do you care?  I am not getting a ton of comments these days, people.  What the hell? No one is reading?  You're mean.

If I go and quit blogging because no one is reading, there are at least a few of you that will be SORRY.

 

 

 

 

Right?

a mid-week update

I got my shit together, I think.  I did end up going out and buying a big bag of cat food, and getting everything done, and I flew to Philadelphia on Tuesday morning where I've been working hard and not drinking enough this week.

I will probably drink something tonight. 

Anyway, the weather here is beautiful and on Tuesday I took a little stroll around town, thinking about how great I have it.  I mean, I have a job and a small(er) ass and wonderful family and great friends.   Tuesday was my wedding anniversary (8 years, OMG) and I saw not one - not two - but THREE brides in the Center City area.  Three Asian brides.  Getting married on a Tuesday.  And then taking pictures in Love Park. 

That made me happy.

 

Here's an Asian bride outside the Ritz.  She had just had her picture taken in front of the pink fountain (which I think they dyed pink for October's Breast Cancer Awareness Month or something; it''s usually not pink).

 

The pink fountain made me happy.

And now I'm going to go find someone to drink wine with.  Bye.

losing my mind

I think this happens about once or twice a year.  I lose my shit completely.  Last week, I flew to Philadelphia on Monday morning, worked my ass off, and then flew to Knoxville, TN for the weekend to visit our friends the Ratners.  I'm not sure where I left my brain.

CASE IN POINT

A long, drawn out story, but Peter and Will had tickets to fly from Buffalo to meet me in Philadelphia so we could all catch to the Philly to Knoxville flight together.  On Thursday afternoon, Peter calls me to tell me that he and Will have been re-routed to Charlotte due to mechanical issues with the BUF-PHL plane, and would be arriving in Knoxville really late, at 11:30pm.  This news made me irrationally angry.  I ride on planes every fucking week!  Shit happens! This kind of stuff should not affect me. 

Then, I tried to get myself flown to Charlotte so I could meet up with the boys and continue onto Knoxville together.  I was told that it would cost me $150 and there was no guarantee that I would arrive in time anyway, so I decided to stay put and I went to the bathroom and cried.  CRIED.  Oh my aching ass.

After I landed in Knoxville and parked my ass to wait for Peter and Will to arrive from Charlotte, I found out that the original Buffalo plane arrived in Philadelphia with plenty of time to make the connection to Knoxville and I punched a wall. 

No, not really.  But I wanted to.

Well, they arrived in Knoxville, safe and sound as all was well.  All that anger and those tears for nothing. 

MORE ABOUT MY BRAIN MATTER

We flew home yesterday, got in kind of late, and I went through the e-mail.  A notice from the bank was waiting for me, just a nice letter to tell me that I bounced a check.  I bounced a check for $103. What am I?  19 years old?  So sad and pathetic.  Apparently I paid a bunch of bills last week on-line, including my quarterly IRS and NYS tax payments and I forgot to move some money over.  Dumbass.

AND HOW I AM AN IRRESPONSIBLE PET OWNER

I used the last little bit of cat food to feed Petey late last night, and this morning I fed him a can of Campbell's Dora-shaped chicken soup.  Somebody kill me now.

an influential blogger?

Did you know that I am an infuential blogger?  Well, it's true.  People care about what I have to say.  I was even on Jessica Gottlieb's blogroll for about a day.  To be fair to myself, she did not delete me from her blogroll like this person; Jessica deleted her entire blogroll. 

Anyway, do you remember how I went to BlogHer in July?  And how I attended skipped all the sessions that told me how to "sell my blog" because I was more interested in roaming the Expo Hall and getting free massages and shit?  And because when I started my blog it was more about me telling my story than anything else, and I don't do ads because I'll never be Dooce? 

Well, I am starting to get a few offers to do some product reviews and giveaways, to which I say - bring it on!  I would like very much to reward my 10 or so readers with some fun stuff, and not just trays and earrings. 

So, stay tuned for an extra-special review and giveaway featuring a super-fabulous product from Just Wine Racks ...something awesome!

saturday kid photo

I am now a Hockey Mom.  God help me.

I even know how to put on all this crazy equipment.

 

 

weekend weigh-in

 

I would like to see 180 by Halloween.  I would also like to get a pedicure this weekend.

hydrangeas

I got two blooms on my hydrangea plant this year.  TWO.  What the hell.

 

Anyway, here they are.  Along with Will and his bottle of Gatorade, which he seems really excited about.

that dress!

Watching the New Adventures of Old Christine last week, I noticed that the women were all in THAT DRESS!  You know, this dress:

 

Here, Alejandro escorts my boobs down the aisle. 

Anyway, here's the dress in yellow.  Not even close to being as cute as burgundy.

 

Wanda Sykes' boobs are too big for this dress.  BUT NOT AS BIG AS MINE.

 

This chick's boobs are not big enough for this dress.

 

And Julia Louis-Dreyfus' boobs are just perfect for this dress.

breaking up is hard to do

Back in July or August, a woman I know removed me from her list of Facebook friends.  She warned me she was doing do, due to the fact that we had a friend in common, someone she no longer wished to be associated with.  I am pretty sure that to prevent this, she had hoped I would delete the friend in common, or beg her not to remove me, or some such nonsense. 

Later, I noticed that I was no longer receiving Twitter updates from this person.  I follow a ton of people on Twitter, people I know both in person and from the internet, so you might think it strange that I even noticed, but she was a prolific Tweeter and when I no longer saw any of the Tweets, I knew I had been blocked.  BLOCKED!

So, I sometimes check out her blog, and today I noted that I am no longer listed on her Blogroll.  So sad. Really, so sad that she is no longer exposed to my wit and humor.  Really, I feel very badly for her.

baby pumpkins

Remember when Will and I planted pumpkin seeds?  I hardly do.  It was back around Memorial Day, and we planted three kinds - blue/gray, white and miniature orange pumpkins.  I think the first two never had a chance of sprouting (I have bad luck with growing things) but we have several, maybe even a dozen of these little Mini-Jacks showing themselves.

 

happy 70th birthday...

...to my dad!

Woot!

doing fine in kindergarten, just losing shit left and right

My child has been in kindergarten for four days now; four full days of rising the bus to school.  In only four days he has lost two fleece jackets.

That is at least $50 that is coming out of his college fund, dammit.

I bet he'd be more careful with his purple polyester hockey jersey.

weekend weigh-in

I've been cleaning out my closet over the last few days, slowly.  I found this tag on the floor in the back:

 

Yes. That is the size I wore, just 15 months ago.  I'm in a 12 or a 14 now. 

more pictures of my boobs.....i mean of the wedding

 

 

 

 

 

 

kindy!

Another busy week. I'm working from home for the next few days and besides building charting tools for the PAH Otorhinolaryngology practice and going through wedding pictures (destoying most of the ones with too much boob showing), I'm helping Will adjust to kindergarten!

 

 

He's got a new hat, a new backpack and rode the bus to school in style.  of course, I followed the bus in my car for a while until it went right through a yellow light, forcing me to stop. I went on to the school and went into Will's class, where he saw me and gave me a hug before politely asking me to leave.

boobage

If anyone is in need of a gorgeous silk tricotine dress from J. Crew in burgundy, size 14, let me know.  YOU MUST HAVE SMALL BREASTS.